Nigerian reggae star, Rassam Wiliki, popularly called Orits Wiliki, and his singer wife, Becky, have come a long way as a couple, having been married for 22 years now. But while their marriage have continued to wax strong, and blessed with beautiful kids, what many don’t know about their union is that they were mere friends before they became husband and wife. Becky reveals that, even before she met her husband, she was one of his secret female admirers, just as Orits Wiliki describes his wife as his best friend, his kid sister, saying,”I was lucky that I married my mother’s last born”. The wife spoke first.
22 years of marriage I will say that a good marriage is like the saying, “The higher you go the cooler it becomes”. The challenges are actually the ingredients you need to make a good home. A marriage without challenges is not a healthy marriage. This is so because each time you overcome a challenge, it makes the relationship tighter. It helps you to correct the wrongs of each other with the hope for better understanding. So I will say challenges are the litmus test for a true relationship.
Fear of the unknown Of course, there would be such moment when you ask yourself if you were sure you are doing the right thing or making the right decision. But when you weigh the positive side against the negative side of a person, the answer puts you a step closer to making the right decision. We were lucky to have dated for five years before going into marriage. That, to me, was long enough time to understand each other.
The battle for love Did l hear you say battle? I don’t think there was any battle but, yes, there were many women around him. But being myself was one of the things I think separated me from the other women aside praying to God because I am from a Christian background.
Uppermost in mind I was into singing and acting. I saw it as a springboard to move to the next level. He was somebody I really admired from a distance even before we met. I loved his songs and creativity. So I looked up to him as a mentor.
Making up mind It wasn’t easy from the beginning because my family belonged to Jehovah’s Witnesses. He used to attend Baptist Church. So to break such news to my father was a huge challenge. But, notwithstanding, things started falling into place and we later crossed that bridge when we got there.
What I don’t like about him He can be a handful when he is in his off moments.
The eve of wedding I can’t remember anything really. I was full of excitement. Preparations going on here and there, cooking, the family all around you; it was fun.
I was lucky that I married my mother’s last born — Orits Williki First five years of marriage It was boring. It was the time I said my career was my wife and my works, that is, my songs, were my children. Then I was always on the road, touring and performing at musical concerts. When I was not on tour, I would be in the studio. Then some journalists used to call me a studio rat. I really didn’t have much time for other things.
Love life before marriage My love life was actually boring. I remember saying my career was my wife and my works, that is, my songs, were my children. I spent most times touring and when I was not on tour, I was a studio rat as some writers then used to describe me.
The many women around Certainly so, but, at the same time, I had lots of female friends and admirers. I was able to define my relationship with them. I respect and treasure friendship, so I wasn’t the type that was sleeping around because I was a musician. So, when that time came, it wasn’t a task as they were indeed very few.
Casanova? No way. I was brought up by disciplinarian parents who taught me how to respect the virtues of true friendship. And that’s why I choose my friends, whether male or female. One best way of losing good friendship is when you begin to mix the whole thing up with affairs; you lose your respect, you lose your dignity and friendship becomes a bargain. I am not saying I was a saint but, indeed, I was a disciplined musician.
The first time of meeting wife My experience was nothing spectacular because we met in a strictly business situation where everyone had to be very professional. I called for an audition for back up female singers and she was one of them that turned up. So, you can understand what it was like, strictly business.
22 years in marriage Trust, respect for each other, fear of God and love have been the strength of our marriage. One thing you need to know is that we think and act alike, so there is hardly an hour without getting on each other’s neck but that again is one of the reasons we can’t stay without each other. So we miss each other dearly whenever any of us is not at home.
Dream woman while growing up I wanted a tall, beautiful, intelligent and God-fearing wife. I wasn’t particular about colour, she must have good legs, good carriage. She must also be a good cook because I love good food, clean and can hold her own in most circumstances.
Married friend I was lucky that I married my mother’s last born, my kid sister, my best friend, my mother and my confidant. If the adjectives to describe the closeness between me and my wife are kid sister, my mother’s last born, my best friend…I think it is simple enough to understand what we mean to each other.