‘Ashamed and stupid I fell for such a creature’: Anguish of the ’50 Shades’ Tinder lover who army sergeant wanted to run off with – despite STILL sleeping with his wife and ex-partner

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  • Emile Cilliers was bedding three women at same time and lying to them all 
  • His wife Victoria had threatened suicide because of his constant cheating 
  • Cilliers and his first wife Carly were divorced but were still sleeping together 
  • Army Sgt also met Austrian Stefanie Goller on Tinder and sent 725 texts per day 
  • Sex mad father of six was also contacting prostitutes for unprotected sex 

The twice-married father of six had a string of affairs, notably with his first wife Carly, who he married after he arrived from South Africa around 20 years ago.

They divorced in 2004 after he joined the Army and chased a career in the SAS but they rekindled their relationship a decade later, meeting for casual sex and even planned to ‘christen’ Victoria Cilliers’ new car by having sex in the back. He was also having an affair with Stefanie Goller, an extreme sports fanatic, who he had met on Tinder in November 2014 – six months before his wife’s parachute crash.

Friends in Austria told MailOnline Stefanie believed they could have settled down and had children and ‘now she hates herself for that.’

One said: ‘She feels ashamed – ashamed and stupid that she fell for such a creature’.

Stefanie Goller was lied to by Cilliers, who led her to believe that he and his wife were no longer togetherEmile Cilliers was an unlikely and irresistible magnet to the opposite sex who was bedding three women at the same time when he was accused of trying to murder his wife Victoria (pictured together on their wedding day in 2011)

Sex mad CIlliers was also in contact with escorts trying to organise ‘bareback’ unprotected sex with them in a liaison he offered to pay £100 for as long as he could film it.

During his two trials he was described as an ‘unfaithful pantomime villain’ and ‘penniless scoundrel’ who was a habitual cheat ‘lying to each of the women in his life’.

His lack of honestly was admitted by his own defence lawyers who put it down to mounting debts and suggested he was in the midst of a mid-life crisis.

Such was the power he had over his wife it emerged that police had to remind her she was banned from seeing him when they feared she planned to fly out to South Africa to see him six months after he was accused of trying to murder her.

These are the women Emile CIlliers left in his wake:

The 50 Shades lover sex mad soldier met on Tinder and texted 725 times per day and told: ‘To be with you, I would do anything.’

Miss Goller met her lover on Tinder and he would fly out to Austria to spend time with her. Cilliers' trial heard they may have also been looking to move in together

Cheating army sergeant sent a flurry of 50 Shades of Grey-themed sexts to his second lover who he met on Tinder – but she was left ‘ashamed’ she fell for him, MailOnline can revealed today.

Stefanie Goller, 30, contemplated moving to Britain after Emile Cilliers showed her a house on the property website Zoopla which he said he would buy for her.

Cilliers had lied to Miss Goller by saying he and his wife were separated and lied saying she had cheated on him and had become pregnant.

Before he tried to kill his wife he told her: ‘To be with you, I would do anything’.

Stefanie is now in hiding, believed to be with skydiving friends in South America, as Cilliers faces jail for trying to murder his wife.

‘She feels ashamed – ashamed and stupid that she fell for such a creature,’ said a former secondary school friend in the Olympic Village section of Innsbruck where her mother still lives.

‘Stefanie has an amazing lust for life, is extremely sociable and fun to be with. It always puzzled us as to why she always ended up with the wrong guy. But she did. Often.

Her friend added: ‘She envied her sisters with their lovely children. She wanted children with Cilliers and now she hates herself for that.’

Cilliers would send up to 725 messages a day to Stefanie Goller, who he started dating with while on a ski holiday.

Such was his lust for her he asked her to be his ‘nude cleaner’ the day after he his wife’s parachute crash.

Another sent to his lover while his wife lay in hospital with a fractured spine and broken ribs and pelvis read: ‘I can’t imagine anything like that happening to you, all I can think about is you.’

On the day after the crash he asked Miss Goller: ‘Will you be my cleaner? I only like nude house cleaners. I pay with hugs and kisses.’

Miss Goller then told Cilliers she loves him in uniform, he replies: ‘You going onto [sic] salute me?’

And in reply to her message ‘I guess sometimes I will have to obey you’, Cilliers said: ‘Will you call me your Mr Grey?’ – a reference to the racy 50 Shades series of books and films.

The qualified skydiving instructor (pictured) travelled at least four times afterwards to the UK for romantic encounters with the man she believed would be with her for the rest of her life.

South African Cilliers, hid his secret life from his wife, who had only discovered his infidelity shortly before his arrest.

After meeting him in her native Innsbruck in the autumn of 2014, she quickly fell in love.

The qualified skydiving instructor travelled at least four times afterwards to the UK for romantic encounters with the man she believed would be with her for the rest of her life.

There was also a New Year break in the German capital Berlin in 2014 and talk of a holiday together in Honduras which never materialized.

The court heard Cilliers wanted to start a new life with Miss Goller.

In two messages four months before the incident, Cilliers tells Miss Goller, who was in the United States: ‘I will sacrifice and give up so much for you… I just never want to let you go.’

Another, a month later reads: ‘To be with you, I would do anything.’

Police said his internet history revealed Cilliers ‘looked at houses for sale in Wiltshire on April 8, 2015, on Zoopla’ – but he claimed it was not a property for them to live in.

Friends in Innsbruck said that before Cilliers came into Stefanie’s life she had a seemingly steady relationship with a fellow skydiver named Andy.

In 2010 her mother bought a 4500 metre jump for them when she holidayed with them in Italy.

She wrote excitedly on her Facebook page of watching them both jump out of the aircraft with eight other parachutist. But it is unclear why the love affair fizzled like all her other romances.

In 2012 her mother also travelled to Athens in Greece, where Stefanie was working, to spend a short break with her.

Her mother and father divorced in 2013, reportedly an emotional time for Stefanie.

That vulnerability ultimately led to her looking for love online – and the arms of Emile Cilliers.

Victoria Cilliers had threatened to 'end it all' because of her husband's habitual cheating - but told the court the parachute crash was not her own plot to kill herself

Victoria Cilliers had threatened to ‘end it all’ because of her husband’s habitual cheating – but always denied that the parachute crash was her own suicide plan.

Although she admitted she despised Emile Cilliers it appears she was willing to put his infidelity and money problems down to approaching 40.

Police even had to warn her not to fly to South Africa fearing she wanted to see him six months after he was accused of plotting to kill her.

Four years before her parachute crash the couple found love after both had divorced previous partners.

Emile and Victoria, believed to have both been stationed at an Army base in Woking, met shortly after his separation from his first wife Carly and bonded over their love of skydiving.

In 2011 they travelled to South Africa to get married in a small ceremony near where Emile’s parents now live.

He even went down on bended knee to say his vows and one guest told MailOnline the couple ‘couldn’t keep their hands of each other.’

By August 2013 Emile had finished his military training and the couple bought their house in Amesbury the following month. Registered in Victoria’s name, it is mortgage-free.

But within a year their idyllic life together was shattered as it emerged her husband was cheating on her and was saddled with debts.

Mrs Cilliers told his trial she decided to leave everything to their children in 2014 because he was unfaithful and ‘bad with money’.

She said: ‘I’m an intelligent person who knew what was going on. I was starting to feel insecure in the marriage, I knew he was having an affair, I wanted to get it done sooner rather than later.’

She had paid off his debts and got him extra work packing parachutes to pay the money back.

Mrs Cilliers, pictured outside court, admitted she had planned to leave her husband before their wedding anniversary months after the alleged attempts on her life

In late 2014 she learned he spent New Year’s Eve with his lover Stefanie Goller, who he met on Tinder, and began feeling suicidal because it was the ‘final straw’, she said.

Mrs Cilliers revealed she had set a time limit of their wedding anniversary in September 2015 for him to ‘shape up or ship out’ but he was then accused of trying to kill her in the March and again days later.

Such was her fury towards the father of her two children that Mrs Cilliers said she lied to police about her husband’s actions in the aftermath of the parachute jump fall ‘to get her own back’ after she had learnt of his ‘lies and deceit’.

She said that she ‘despised’ her husband, Emile, after becoming suspicious about his extra-marital affair which had pushed her to suicidal thoughts.

Her husband had around £22,000 of debts and the prosecution believed he would receive £120,000 life insurance as a result of Mrs Cillier’s death.

She told jurors she had exaggerated the amount of time her husband had spent alone with her parachute in toilets at Netheravon Airfield, Wilts, where she later sustained horrific injuries because ‘she was out for blood’.

When asked if she had always told the truth, she replied: ‘Not always. The extent of his lies and deceit had been disclosed to me and I just wanted to get my own back to a certain extent.’

Mrs Cilliers, who walked into court unaided and chose to stand to give her evidence, said that she had later wanted to amend her statement but had been told by a police liaison officer that she would not be allowed to and that ‘no-one would believe me’.

She continued: ‘You have to remember I had been dealing with this day-in-day-out for months, it was horrific, I was injured with a baby, I had enough at that point, I wanted everyone out of my life.’

She first told detectives he went missing for ‘a couple of minutes’ but in a second statement said it was ‘over five minutes’ but admitted later: ‘It was probably somewhere in the middle of that’.

She added: ‘I was very angry. I was out for blood. I made it sound worse than it was because I was humiliated – I wanted him to suffer. I got to the point where the extent of his lies and deceit had been disclosed to me and I wanted to get my own back to a certain extent.’

Victoria was born in the small Scottish town of Haddington, east of Edinburgh, in 1975. She was the first child of Michael Kilby, a retired computer manager, and his wife Veronica, a nurse. A brother, Christopher, was born four years later.

The family lived a comfortable life in a £400,000, five-bedroom home. Victoria, who is thought to have attended the independent Edinburgh Academy, was determined to serve in the Armed Forces.

But she suffered heartbreak at an early age. Her mother died in 1992, aged 46, after a battle with cancer. Victoria was just 17 years old.

Her father remarried three years later, to Ann, a retired pharmacist with two children. Today the couple live in Dalkeith, Midlothian.

Distraught at the loss of her mother, Victoria focused on her Army career and worked her way up to the rank of captain. While stationed at ATC Pirbright, the military training centre near Woking, Surrey, she developed a love of skydiving and eventually became an instructor.

Pirbright was probably where she met Captain Liam Fitzgerald-Finch, her first husband, whom she married in 2004 in her family’s parish in Haddington. Her brother Chris was the sole witness.

Liam was a dashing Army officer who served in Afghanistan and Iraq, and received the Queen’s Gallantry Medal for defusing bombs in Helmand in 2008.

But he was often away on tours of duty, and admitted that ‘ludicrous work pressure’ cost him his marriage and eventually forced him to leave the military.

By 2011 she had found love again with Emile Cilliers but within years she faced more heartbreak with her unfaithful husband on trial for twice trying to kill her.

The ex-wife who the Army sergeant continued to have sex with years after they divorced
Carly Cilliers met her husband in a pub and would later rekindle their relationship around a decade after their divorce

Emile Cilliers met his first wife Carly in a pub when he travelled to Britain from South Africa on a working visa around 15 years ago.

After a whirlwind romance they married in Oxford before moving to Ipswich where he took a job working as an assistant manager of a nightclub.

It was in Suffolk’s county town he decided to join the army.

Cilliers said: ‘In 2004 one day I was walking to work and came across an army careers office so I popped my head in, they asked if I wanted to join and it went from there.’

Cilliers, who said his father was in the South African army and raised him in a ‘regimented and disciplined lifestyle’, passed through the early stages of his career with ease and was awarded ‘best recruit’ in phase one of his training.

He had ambitions of joining the SAS and was posted in Plymouth, where he and Carly split up.

But they rekindled their relations again and are understood to have had a sex at the time up until he was arrested.

Text messages show to the court ranged from the mundane to the explicit.

In one he told her: ‘So tonight. We f*** twice’ – in another after his wife’s parachute crash he said: ‘She is ok for now. Multiple fractures including pelvis she’ll need surgery’.

Despite their relationship Ms Cilliers was never asked to give evidence at the trial. …And he still had time to contact hookers to organise unprotected sex

Emile Cilliers looked to the world like a straight-laced Army sgt but in fact was sex obsessed

Debt-ridden Emile Cilliers contacted prostitutes because it gave him a sexual ‘thrill’ but claimed he never actually met with any after one put her price up by £10, the court heard.

Emile Cilliers was in contact with a ‘number of prostitutes’, even making arrangements by text to film himself having unprotected sex with one.

In another text exchange, the court heard the 38-year-old was told by a sex worker that meeting her would cost him £60, but he turned her down after telling her that she had advertised £50.

The sergeant, of the Royal Army Physical Training Corps, today told a court that he never actually met with any prostitutes, saying he just got a ‘kick’ out of contacting them.

Winchester Crown Court, Hants, heard that Cilliers was a regular visitor to a website called Adultworks, where escorts advertised their services.

When asked about the site, Cilliers told the court: ‘There are online profiles of escorts, with videos and lots of other stuff – I cannot exactly remember.

‘I never actually went through with any of it though.’

When Elizabeth Marsh QC, representing Cilliers, asked him why he visited the site, he replied: ‘I really don’t know to be honest. [I got] some sort of thrill or kick out of it, I suppose.’

Prosecutor Michael Bowes QC said the 38-year-old sent messages to an escort asking how much unprotected sex would be with her and if he could film it.

Just before that he had sent a message to ex-wife Carly to arrange to meet her for sex in his ‘new car’ – which the prosecutor said was actually Victoria Cilliers’ vehicle.

Mr Bowes QC told Winchester Crown Court: ‘On March 13, 2015, there is contact with an escort and the defendant is in touch with Carly Cilliers – he is arranging to have sex.

‘In a message to Carly, the defendant says ‘you can see the new car, we can take it for a spin. Maybe christen it.

‘He is then in touch with a prostitute in relation to sex with her. He says to the escort, ‘bareback for £100. Can I film it?’

‘She replies ‘yes’. Bareback is a widely known term for no form of protection.

‘Now, there is nothing wrong with going to prostitutes, but it is indicative of a man who just does what he wants, when he wants.

‘He has his life in compartments and it is all about him. We have his relationship with Victoria, he is telling Stefanie he loves her, and he has sex arranged with Carly and then unprotected sex arranged with a prostitute.

‘We say here’s a man who cared not for Victoria, he treated her with contempt – he did not care about her in any way at all.’

South African fitness fanatic whose upstanding and respected family refused to believe he was guilty of plot to pocket £120,000 life insurance so he could start a new debt-free life
When he returned to South Africa to marry British-born Victoria (pictured together seven years ago, the venue was one of the most exclusive the country had to offer but it was mainly his loyal family that attended

Emile Cillers’ ‘disastrous’ finances gave him the motive to try to murder his wife – but his family always stood by him.

Keen cricketer and skier Emile Cilliers was from the farming and mining community of Ermelo in the Mpumalanga province in the east of the South Africa, around two hours from Johannesburg.

He then moved to the UK in 2000 working in pubs and nightclubs before joining the army.

His parents now live around 1,000 miles away from his hometown in the small holiday seaside spot of Betty’s Bay in the Western Cape, 19 miles from Cape Town. It is popular with tourists and is known for being home to a penguin colony.

Locals say the couple are popular and well regarded.

Cilliers’ father Stolz is said to work as an engineer overseeing road construction projects, while his mother runs the town’s PenguinKids pre-school for around 40 children from low-income families.

His mother Zaan Cilliers flew to Britain to be with her son and help look after his children.

Mrs Cilliers said she knew he was not capable of such a crime.

She said last year: ‘I believe in my son, I love him, he is our child and we know him. I don’t feel affected by these allegations as I know him and know there is no truth in it. That’s all I can tell you.’

When he returned to South Africa to marry British-born Victoria seven years ago, the venue was one of the most exclusive the country had to offer – The Twelve Apostles hotel, on Cape Town’s exclusive Atlantic Seaboard, attended by 40 of the couple’s friends.

MailOnline could find no one from Cilliers hometown or school who attended the exquisite event.

Cilliers’ younger brother, Dirk-Louis also left his home town but moved only a little closer to Johannesburg to the industrial town of Secunda where he works as a production manager on a coal mine.

`He’s a good man,’ Dirk-Louis Cilliers said of his brother to MailOnline.

`I know my brother, he comes from a good family and a good home. There’s no way he could have done the things they said he has done. I am not in a position to give personal details of my brother.’

Their sister, Liza, now lives in the capital Pretoria, married to a businessma, Niel Vermaas, but declined to comment on the case.

Emile and Victoria shared a passion for extreme sports and he was also a keen runner who had dreams of joining the SAS

Koos Kruger, who was Cilliers’ headmaster at Ermelo High School, recalled Cilliers did not stand out as an academic ‘Errie’, the nickname given to students of Ermelo High.

He did not play rugby, the dominant sport at the school, to any high standard but Mr Kruger remembered Cilliers for his achievements in athletics and cross-country running in particular.

`He was the school champion and he did well at local races against other schools,’ Mr Kruger remembered. `I do not recall him excelling in any other sport or academics.’

A school contemporary, Reghard Engelbrecht, described him as ‘quiet but a popular’ pupil.

Victoria Cilliers, 39, was aware her husband was bad with money but he also kept a number of debts from her and kept spending even when she was in hospital

`I was more into the rugby and he was more into the long-distance running. His parents had a house in town and he was a pretty well maintained guy, basically a good guy. He matriculated in 1998 and he left after that.’

Emile had ‘serious issues’ with money and debts which would ‘spiral out of control’, the court heard.

The extent of his money problems was also shown in messages sent between the married couple in December 2014, as their relationship begins to break down.

Mrs Cilliers wrote to him: ‘I just checked my bank and no money from you please look into this I can’t keep financing everything with no input from you.

‘Credit card maxed out and saving for baby furniture gone just covering bills. I hate to keep asking u but it keeps me awake every night.’

And just a week before Christmas, she adds: ‘u promised before we married not to use loan sharks and now I get a big guy turning up to door try to intimidate a pregnant woman with a visibly upset toddler. Both of us shaken.’

The sense of Mrs Cilliers’ suspicion of her husband arises again in their Whatsapp exchanges that month when he tells her: ‘Trust me you don’t’.

She replies poignantly: ‘Why not? I entered into this marriage with my eyes open. I have loved u more each year.

‘Feels like you keep trying to push me away until I jump ship. But I can’t. I love you too much. It feels just now that you would be happier without me.’

After Mrs Cilliers’ fall, her husband applied for a number of credit cards and also spent thousands in a shopping spree on gaming items as he ‘needed a distraction’

The court heard he spent around £2,000 at Game, Argos and Curry’s on various items including a Playstation.

Cilliers said: ‘I lived in a small room [in his army barracks] and I needed some distractions, I probably should have paid off some debts but I didn’t.’

He added that Victoria Cilliers was unaware of his debts when he moved into her home at the time in Bulford, Wiltshire.

Cilliers said: ‘She was not happy about my debts, I didn’t tell her from the start but she said she would help me.

Cilliers said: ‘I was hiding from Victoria what financial strain I was in. I was living above my means and taking out loans to cover other loans.

‘All my money would go on loans and by the end of the month I would take out another one to try and hide it.

‘I was embarrassed, I was afraid Victoria would be ashamed of me. I wanted to tell her but was scared of the consequences, I was scared she might leave me.

‘At first she offered to help me out with debts from Carly but then I started spiralling out of control again and I was constantly bailed out by Victoria.’

Cilliers told the court when he was under pressure from his wife to repay her, he lied by telling her he was having difficulties and ‘getting advice from the Ombudsman’.

He said: ‘I kept blaming things when money went missing or did not appear, I never told her the truth about the debts I was in and where the money I got went.

‘There came a point where she had enough and gave me an ultimatum – to buy some time I made up a lie.

‘I told her I had issues with money being transferred to my account and with financial advisors and that I was asking advice from the Ombudsman.’

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